The Daily Take (that Doesn't Suck)

It's been such a long time...

2009-08-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been seven months and a hand full of days since I last blogged. Holy moly, frijole lots of things have changed and happened in that time. Let's all look back on the Jester's life and get caught up, shall we?

We have moved. We now live in the shadows of the grain elevators that contain "Yukon's Best Flour". To make it even better, there is a huge, massive, gargantuan, obnoxious flashing neon sign on the grain elevator that says Yukon's Best Flour. Prior to moving here, I was never aware that there was any discrepancy between the best flour that Yukon produced and the other sub par Yukon produced flours on the market. Silly, silly me. Anyway, we were transferred to the OKC metro. I actually work at the Sam's Club in Edmond. Not knowing how long we would be here, we decided to rent a home instead of buying, so we finally found something nice in Yukon. It is MUCH smaller than our old home in BA. We purposely have a garage full of boxes that are still not unpacked, for many reasons. First being, not enough room in the house for everything, secondly we don't really want to have to repack everything when we get transferred/promoted to our real city.

In my youth, I remember really disliking the OKC metro. In fact, I used to refer to it as the "toilet at the end of the turnpike". But, I gotta tell you, it is a really nice city. I mean, sure it has crime...and it is hot...and the wind blows (all the time)...and parts of the city really smell bad...and the streets pretty much all run diagonally, but it is so much better than it used to be. I am very impressed at the revitalization of the Bricktown area, Lake Hefner, etc. We are making the best of being here and really looking forward to moving on.

Enough about me...I am pretty sure you didn't come here to read about my life, you came here to see my razor sharp wit and political savvy come together to make a gumbo of sarcasm. So let us begin.

Obamacare...This one is like shooting fish in a barrel with sticks of dynamite. Who in their right mind would like our Federal Government making an attempt to run a health care system? These are the same people that have absolutely ruined the health care system for our heroes, the Veterans. It is an embarrassment that we are treating our heroes in this manner. The House of Representatives Bill is on the Congressional website for all to read, yet so many politicians deny the things that some of us disagree with is even in the Bill.

End of life counselling, wow. So, anyone who is not currently or will not grow up to be productive members of society could be looked at as a burden to the system. Let's take this exercise one step further. Some of you may and others may not know, I am the father of a very beautiful special needs child. Kaedra was born on November 6, 2004. I challenge you to follow this link.......and read her story, look at her pictures. I will warn you, have tissues handy, you will need them. So many doctors told us that "she would not live" or "she won't live long" or "well, she will have no quality of life". She, through prayers many and divine miracles, proved them all wrong. Under this plans current draft, the life of our beautiful daughter would be at risk because of the level of care that she needed as an infant/toddler. I cannot believe that we are at the brink of putting life and death decisions in the hands of bureaucrats and politicians. God help us all.

Thank the Lord above, we have health insurance. It is not great, but it is insurance. We had to pay a little over $1000 out of pocket when I had the Gallbladder-ectomy in 12/08. The only reason it was that inexpensive was because we had almost met our deductible. If people used their homeowners or car insurance the way they used their health insurance, they would almost assuredly be cancelled. Does the insurance industry make a profit? Of course it does. Private industry is supposed to make a profit. That profit puts people to work. The government has taken over car companies, bought into a majority of the banking industry, now this. How on earth are we going to pay for all of this? Yours and my tax dollars. I work HARD. I am over taxed. Our tax burden is so high that every penny I make for the first 5 months of the year pay taxes. Federal Income tax, state income tax, FICA, sales tax, property tax, car tags, taxes on utilities, excise tax, fuel taxes, the list goes on and on. I cannot believe the politicians cannot see that we are not only taxing ourselves, but we are taxing our grandchildren into oblivion to pay for these programs.

So, I am not a bad person that wishes any harm on anyone. I am an American, with the same rights to free speech and public assembly as the protesters did during Vietnam, the protesters that march at IMF rallies/G8 summits, etc. The politicians that are trying to force feed us this legislation are finally seeing that the citizens of the United States of America are completely fed up with egos and the arrogance of Washington DC. I watch in amazement at the way people who disagree with this plan are being screamed at by the members of Congress. I am even more stunned at the names that normal everyday Americans are being called because the dare to disagree with ideas coming out of Washington. I believe they honestly think we are too dumb and too lazy to care. America, I dare you to care!

I dare you to contact your Congressional Representative and let them know how you feel. Whether you agree or disagree with this plan, participate in the process. I am going to write a letter today to my Reps, Senator and to our President. Will it make a difference? If I am the only person in America to do it, no it won't. Don't let me be the only one to voice an opinion.

I know this blog is not filled with biting sarcasm and funnies, that will return soon. Don't go quietly into the night.

Jester Out

The Overnight Adventure

2009-01-04T17:21:00.001-08:00

What is up? Just a quick post to let you all know that I am going to be working nights for an unspecified amount of time. My club is going through a remodel that begins tonight. I am running the construction crews that are working overnights.

What can I say? I am far from thrilled about this. I will only see my wife and kids for a very short period daily. My two days off per week will be spent trying to catch up on sleep and not get my days and nights anymore jacked up than they all ready are. I can only hope that my boss notices the sacrifice that I am giving him and says "wow, let's give this man a building of his own." And let's hope this happens before I lose my mind from working nights, my wife leaves me, my wife divorces me, or my kids forget who I am...whichever comes first.

There are specific things that the crew has to complete every night for this project to go well and finish on time. It is my job to work with the crew to make sure these tasks get accomplished on time. Tonight they will be working on the exit vestibule area and the cart garage. Monday night continues this work and starts on the managers office and the upstairs conference room.

To make this an even more jacked up adjustment to my body, I have 6 days in a row off beginning Friday. So, when I return to work I will have to get used to nights again...I can't complain, it is 6 days off to enjoy my fam. Then back to work for about 2 and a half weeks, then Kansas City for 5 days of meetings, just in time to mess with sleep patterns. Again...I can't complain, it is a great gig, just a bump in the road, right?

So, if you email and I don't respond as quickly as normal don't take it personally, I am just sharing the night with the vampires.

Good night now
Michael d

Sooners Raided the Red Raiders!

2008-11-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

What is up? Holy moley...how about those Oklahoma Sooners? They DOMINATED Texas Tech on both sides of the ball last night. Besides some really stupid penalties (and some really bad calls by the officials) and the weekly adventure that we call Special Teams, that was the best overall performance that I have seen OU put up since the National Championship game in the 2000 Orange Bowl win over Florida State.

Sam Bradford is a stud. DeMarco Murray is a stud. Austin Box is a stud. Bob Stoops and Brent Venables are insane geniuses. A lot of fun was poked at Bob Stoops this week when during a press conference, he asked the crowd to get into the game. The OU crowd at Memorial Stadium can get somewhat loud when a touchdown is scored, but they are not known for getting anywhere near raucous when the defense is on the field. In fact our buddy Chris Plank over on the Buzz called the crowd "Merlot sippers" at times, which I tend to agree with. Well, there is no egg on Stoops face this morning. The 82,121 people packed into Memorial Stadium made some serious noise from the opening kickoff until the final whistle blew. I was very proud of the fans stepping up and doing what a college home crowd should do. I really detest the term "12th man" and always think of the "Jack booted thugs" down at College Station.

Now the big test is next weekend in Stillwater. OSU always shows up to play in the Bedlam series. We will see this afternoon how the joke of the BCS rates us. I am not holding my breath.

Good night now...Jester Out!!!

The Righteous Wind of Change At Our Back

2008-11-05T07:35:00.000-08:00

Well, it is finally over and I really don't feel any different...do you? Weren't we promised money would fall from the sky if we make less than $250k per year? Weren't we promised health care for everyone? I was promised "Change". Oh well, when I was a kid, we were promised jet packs and flying cars for everyone as well...I am still waiting on mine!

Right or wrong, it was made very clear last night that a majority of our nation (at least the ones that turned out to vote) were fed up with the business as usual, finger pointing, linked to W republicans. If you are a regular visitor to the Jester's little spot on the web, you probably know that I am fairly disgusted with most politicians on both sides of the aisle.

How on earth could John Murtha have been re-elected last night?? This guy has been in Congress since 1974. Let's put that in perspective. I was 6 years old in 1974. The Space Shuttle had not had its first flight. Skylab had not fallen out of space yet. Stephen King writes Carrie. Disco is popular...you get the picture, right? Not only has he been there for a long time, he is an idiot. I don't use the word idiot lightly or without regard. He called his own constituency redneck racists because Obama wasn't polling well in Murtha's own western Pennsylvania. That is how out of touch this clown is with his own electorate. Yet his electorate brings him in for another term. Now I question, is he the idiot or are the voters really this uninformed???

As of this morning it is still undecided in Minnesota between an even bigger idiot (which I am surprised that is even possible) than Murtha, Al Franken and Norm Coleman. I will be upfront on this one, I know absolutely nothing about Norm Coleman. I do know a few things about Al Franken. He is one of those guys who thinks he is funny, but he really isn't...kinda like Chris Medlock, who does afternoons on KFAQ in Tulsa...more about Medlock later. Did anyone like Fraken on SNL? I think not. Anyway, as of late Franken has been trying to keep Air America afloat, but that dog is sinking faster than chili goes through a two year old. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Franken throws puppies out of moving cars, I just don't like him for reasons too many to list here.

Now to Medlock. Most folks know that I enjoy a train wreck, maybe even more than the other guy does. So maybe that explains why I listen to Medlock. When I get stuck taking a late lunch, I normally listen to Plank and Pop over on the Buzz. Although, if I am not particularly interested in their guest at the time, or if they are on a break I will listen to KFAQ for a few. Medlock used to do mornings there, until a very unfortunate microphone slapping accident nearly caused scrap in the studio one morning between he and his female on air partner. It's a shame they didn't fight, she would have hurt him. Anyway, when I tune in for the odd few minutes, I figure I am one of eight people in the Tulsa metro (outside Medlock's family) listening to the show. It is very entertaining to listen to the show, because dude thinks he is funny. Frankenlock, hate to burst your bubble, but you aren't funny. In other bursting bubble news, if they haven't done it yet, the kids at TU will be rolling out the Chris Medlock drinking game. Every time you use the phrase "when I was on the city counsel", "recall", "mama bear", "papa bear" or "baby bear" the players must take a drink. The downside is everyone will be drunk after 2 segments! It would also triple your listening audience if the Sigma Chi House at TU tuned in to play. Come on Frankenlock, loosen up and broaden your horizons a bit...talk about other things. If you don't try so hard to be funny, you could be funny. Well, maybe not.

Well time to make the donuts. Before I bail let me just say...Thompson/Palin 2012. Jester Out!

What Happened???

2008-11-02T06:50:00.000-08:00

What's up? BOOMER SOONER. Wow, OU rolled the Cornshuckers last night 62-28 and how about them Red Raiders of Texas Tech? They beat the Longhorns. Just remember...Bevo, it's whats for dinner!

Not much time for a take, but I am gonna throw one out there. My lovely wife rented "The Happening" with Marky Mark formerly of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (don't act like you don't remember). This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Folks, this represents two hours of my life I cannot get back, and I am rather upset at this.

As we watched, my emotions ranged from amazement that a studio actually paid someone to write, produce, direct, gaff, best boy, cater, ect this hideous excuse of a film to shock that I was actually still watching this thing. I have never seen a train wreck in real life (although I vaguely recall dating one or two), I am quite sure I would have continued watching it too.

The movie may have actually done one thing that is more odd than anything else that I could possibly think of. I do believe it may have given people with suicidal tendencies (wasn't that a punk band from the early 80's?) many new ways to kill themselves. I honestly would have never thought of starting up a huge golf course style commercial lawn mower (even if you did just find one laying around) and then laying down in front of its path. Gotta say, the movie really sucked.

M. Night, bro, bubby the next time Al Gore calls with a plot for a movie, just don't take the call. Stick with aliens. Signs RULED, it was awesome, it was Double Live Gonzo, Intensity in Ten Cities, it whaled! This one...was just awful.

The only thing that made it somewhat tolerable was the fact that they cast Frank Collison in it. You know old Frank, don't cha? He played Wash Hogwallup in O Brother Where Art Thou. He was the one that so elloquently said that his wife had "runnoft". If you live outside rural Arklahoma/Lousmippi, you might not get that one.

Anyway, I want a refund and my two hours back, but I won't get either. Time to make like a banana and split. War OU moving on up (ala the Jefferson's to the East Side) in the BCS polls, war the Red Raiders smacking down the Longhorns (Hey Otis in Austin, where ya at now sucka???) and war more Billy Mays infomercials and less Barack Obama infomercials!

Jester Out!!!

Extremely Random Musings

2008-10-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

What up Jester followers? Life is good again. Baby girl is out of the hospital and doing very well, Middle girl is growing out of the drama, Big girl is doing wonderful in school and finally Lone boy is a freakin' riot...everyone should have a little boy, they are a blast.

I would like to give a shout out right off the top to AC in Tulsa. I caught the last 10 seconds of his take yesterday on the Plank and Pop show. Nice job AC, especially working the term "meteorologists" into your take, not sure of the context, but your uncle is proud none the less! I know AC has made it all the way to J Stew before on the Rome Show on more than one occasion, but Mr. Automatic deemed it not worthy. Oh well, it is what it is. I am sure AC will keep bringing the noise to the Rome Show until he either impressed J Stew or until he wears him down, whichever comes first. Either way, come on "Guy #1" in the "Jim's Best Friend" episode of "According to Jim" aka J Stew cut AC some slack and hook a brother up. All kidding aside, mad props to the entire Rome Show and crew, you guys are consistently the best show on the air!

If you are a fairly regular visitor to the Jester's blog, you recently saw a take on quite possibly the most bizarre person to have a paying gig on CNN, Larry King. First of all Larry King in HD is a scary scary thing. I am fully convinced you could run slot race cars in the wrinkles on his face. And for real, you would think they could do something about the shoulders. I came across this photo at TMZ (they get all credit, so please don't sue me) and thought it was the most hysterical thing I have ever seen in my life. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Larry King looking as constipated as ever.

All right, I had more but this has taken all day, so I will do more tomorrow or the next day.

Goodnight now Jester OUT!

Hospitals Suck

2008-10-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

Jester says hey! Coming to you live today from St. John's Hospital where my baby girl has been since early Friday morning. She has negative gram stain (nasty strain) of pneumonia. Scarred lungs are much more susceptible to pneumonia than non scarred lungs are. This strain was likely caused by bath water or the like. We just thank God above that she is the Healed of the Lord and by the stripes of Jesus, she is healed!

We have been very blessed with a good staff during our hospital stay...for the most part. Kahri had to threaten an RT in the middle of the night, but other than that we are in good shape.

Kahri brought Emily up to see Kaedy Bug last night. Kaedra was SSSOOOO happy to see her sister. She smiled and smiled and smiled! They played, colored, etc for about an hour before Kaedra got tired out. I brought her back up this morning when I came in to relieve Kahri. They had a blast again this morning.

I really really really don't like hospitals, but then again...who does right? I thought I had it bad when I had to spend about 3 weeks in the hospital back in 2002. Kaedra has me beat and then some. She spent her first 10 months hospitalized. If you are not familiar with her story, email me and I will link you up to it. It is an AMAZING story.

I will try to keep the blog updated while we are in the hospital. Please keep Kaedra in your prayers and agree with us that we will be able to get her out of here as quickly as possible.

Jester OUT!!!

Sarahcuda

2008-09-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

What is up everyone? Right up front, I wanna give a big shout out to everyone that hit the Jester's blog and especially to those that took time to comment on my last take. It means a lot to me that you gave your opinion!

So the Republican Convention has come and gone. I have to say, I am stunned at naming Sarah Palin as the Veep but it was obviously a good move. This would be reason number 6,751 that the Politicos don't ask for my opinion, yet I give it none the less.

Before I get into Sarahville, I want to cover Fred Thompson. It seems that Fred is back. Where was my man during the primary process? He sure wasn't around for that! He was on fire the first night of the convention. He threw some good barbs at the Obama camp and talked up Palin. One of his great lines about her is that she is the only one out there could also field dress a moose as well as carry POTUS' briefcase (see me or Kahri for the explanation of the briefcase reference). If this Fred would have shown up a few months ago, we could have possibly seen a Thompson/Palin ticket that I would be proud to have supported.

Rudy Guiliani spoke. In my best Forrest Gump voice, "that's about all I gotta say about that." Please Rude...stick to the motivational circuit and stay far away from politics.

Then came Sarah. Okay...first impression here, she is a pretty attractive woman. Thank goodness she ditched the big 80's hair she was sporting back in the day when she was doing sports on a local Anchorage affiliate. What to say? Well, I agreed with her politically in virtually everything she said, but I don't agree with a couple of things in her personal life. That being said, a political view should outweigh the personal life. We will see if it does with the American voters.

She has a nice looking family, with the exception of Bristol's Babydaddy. I am sure the Sarahnator is especially proud of the tattoo he has on his left ring finger. It is the Babymomma name in cursive. I guess tattooing your Babymomma name on your arm, the rest of the voting public couldn't see it would have been too much to ask. Am I too old, or is a ring just too gauche? The rest of the fam is pretty cute though. How adorable was Piper during Sarah's speech? She was trying to pay attention most of the time, at least when she wasn't licking her fingers and trying to spittle-cement down her little brothers hair while he slept.

The speech was very much in your face. It was a straight on, up front attack on the Dem ticket. The Dems missed this opportunity completely last week, of course they did not have McCains running mate at the time, but a ball dropped none the less. Her speech writer is strong enough to play on the first team, and man did she deliver it well! Obama's chops were busted on him being a community activist, the "think much of yourself" giant Greek columns, and the clutching to guns and religion remark that will likely bite Obama in the butt. John McCain came out after the speech to bask in the afterglow of the speech.

I have waited as long as I can to discuss this, but I can wait no longer. I was unaware that Martha Washington had been cryogenically frozen, thawed out and brought to the Republican Convention. I was stunned to see her on camera so many times throughout the night. Oh wait...I have just been told by my wife, that is John McCain's mother. Wow, she is old. I am sure she is a lovely lady, don't misunderstand, but I have it on good authority that she may have possibly dated Methuselah. Again, I am sure she is just a wonderful great/great/great/great/great grandmother of 7,631 grandchildren, but I am relatively sure I heard that someone said she told them that Betsy Ross asked for her opinion on the color blue to use on the first flag. But again, she is a lovely woman.

This is exactly what the Republicans needed to energize their campaign. If they pull some more rabbits out of their hats, they can make this a much more interesting race. Can they pull it out?? We will see.

Thanks for the read, will post again after Kansas City. Jester OUT!!!

The Players/Playas Converge in Denver

2008-08-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I have returned. If I have any fans left out there in Internet land...REACT TO ME. I know it has been forever since I have posted, but so many things have happened in my life it is crazy, and I work for a living! All that aside, let's blog!

So, Obama picks Joe Biden. Wow, what a lame choice on so many different levels. Where to begin, age maybe? Hey Joe, McCain called and said you look old and your hair looks bad. Just a thought Joe, tighten up the lettuce. Dude has been a senator since I was 5 years old. He has been suckling from the government teat so long, that we could only wish he had become lactose intolerant. I am sure that Obama picked him to have the appearance of a well balanced and experienced ticket. I am telling you from Jesters perspective, dude is a bad choice. Anyone besides me remmber the whole plagiarism incident from his law school paper?

So, what a week we have had in Denver so far eh? We have heard from Michelle Obama, Hillary and Bill Clinton, some weak players and Thurston Howell III himself: John Kerry. Hill came out sporting an orange color pants suit, I can only assume it was giving props to the old throw back Denver Bronco/Orange Crush jersey days. I am so amazed that so many of the politicians today speak so monotone. Anyway- good speech, poor delivery, no unity. Bill...what to say? He was eyeing the crowd looking for talent to be pulled backstage by security for "relations and debauchery" ala Vince Neil and Tommy Lee back in the Motley Crue days. John Kerry had nothing new to add, just thank the Good Lord above that Lovey/Teresa had a Heinz ketchup-covered-cannoli stuffed in her pie hole so we didn't have to hear her noise.

So McCain will name his running mate as early as tomorrow. I don't think it will make a difference who he names, he is going to get trounced in the election. The only one I can think of that might make a difference for McCain is Bobby Jindal. He could bring the young vote out. Otherwise McCain is strictly the blue blood country club candidate, not my guy!

Okay, I will close with this. Did anyone see Larry King last Friday Aug 22, 2008? I can only hope you did. The national media was anxiously awaiting to hear who Obama had chosen for his running mate and were going to hear via Obama's text message. It was obvious that Larry had absolutely no idea what text message technology was all about, so he asks the following question..."so, I have signed up for this text message, and let's say my name is Oscar (by this time I am laughing out loud and trying to get my wife to listen to this idiot) what keeps me from calling CNN when I get the text message and breaking the story myself?" At this point, Candy Crowley has this deer-in-the-headlights look and thinking to herself, "why does this brain-numbed shoulder-surgery-needing nerd/geek/moron/etc have his own show and I am forced to follow Bill Clinton around and fight off his weekly advances?" She then had to explain the technology to poor Larry that everyone that had signed up for the text (including virtually everyone at CNN with the exception of Larry King/Oscar)will receive it at the same time. It does make one wonder if Larry uses the name Oscar when picking up the ladies.

All right, I am spent. As I said earlier...REACT TO ME.

Jester out!!!

It's Official...Obama vs McCain

2008-06-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

I know the Jester has been out of commission for several weeks, but the brother works for a living...ya heard? I have been burning the midnight oil again up Bentonville way. The Wal-Mart Shareholders meeting was this week in Bentonville. Of course I didn't know what to expect, since this is my first rodeo. I, along with a crew of 4 others from Oklahoma were recruited to travel to the Bentonville Sam's Club to make sure that it was perfect and ready for the Board of Directors to walk through it.

We worked our tails off to get it ready. Now, that being said, I am sure you are thinking why would all these people need to spend a week getting a club ready to tour. Was it in terrible shape??? No way, it was in good shape, we just helped it along to perfect. We straightened pallets (with pallet jacks and sledge hammers, yes it was fun throwing a sledge), merchandised killer displays (shout out to Mike OKC for the killer power washer end!), and detailed Electronics with a fine tooth comb. We put in a ton of hours in 5 and a half days, but I learned a lot and had a great sense of accomplishment by the time it was over.

Now to the subject at hand. It appears that someone finally got it through the thick skull of Hillary Clinton that it was over. While in Arkansas (between work and sleep) I saw the head of her campaign on CNN stating that she will not bow out of the primary under any circumstance and that she was absolutely not interested in speaking about the VP position. Less than 24 hours later, all the networks were saying that their sources were telling them that Hillary is very open to speak with Obama about a Vice Presidential post.

It's ironic (nah...it's just politics really) that when the primary is ongoing you can pretty much dog cuss your opponent and tell the people how much they stink and then all of a sudden they are kissing cousins with the loser sucking up to the winner for a VP slot. In my somewhat humble opinion, I think Hillary has such a base of voters that will not under any circumstances vote for her (in the Democratic party as well as the Republican party) that she will effectively lose the election for Obama if she is his VP. If you couple that with the fact that Michelle Obama doesn't like her, I think it will be a long shot to see Hillary in '08.

I am not really sure who I would like to see Obama run with, but I will give a quick shout out for McCain. If McCain wants a decent showing in the polls, he needs a VP that doesn't look like he has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. I think Bobby Jindal would be the man for McCain. Jindal is the current Gov of Louisana. I am not terribly familiar with him, but he may be the first non corrupt Gov of that state ever. After the whole Katrina debacle, the citizens of the Pelican State were sick of politicians not stepping up and are ready to hold them accountable. Good or bad Bobby is a very likable figure in the south. Now back to Obama.

I really have no one to put on the VP ticket for Obama. I have racked my brain for weeks about this and have come up with nothing. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I really don't want to see a Obama/Clinton ticket. IF nothing else, I don't want to see any else get "Vince Fostered" and then boom she is in the White House.

Jester Out!

Is getting there REALLY half the fun?

2008-04-15T18:10:00.000-07:00

My beautiful wife dropped me off at the airport this morning at about 8:00 am. It was a crisp April morning not unlike the one before it. After saying our goodbyes, I went into the airport to check my bags and print my boarding passes. Behind the counter was bright shining smiling Lisa (Pastors daughter) who helped me pick a better seat and get my bag checked...thanks Lisa!!! But then it went south.

I choked down the $9 (actually $11 after tip) Breakfast Tacos from TGIFridays. I forgot how bad powdered eggs are. I made my way over to the gate area to wait on my flight. They began boarding after about 15 minutes of waiting. I was in group 6. After calling groups 1-4, they just stopped. After several minutes, they said they were having a problem with something or other and they would not continue boarding until it was resolved. About 15 minutes later they began boarding again. I am all comfy in my seat, listening to music when the Captain says that they are experiencing a problem with the radio.

We sat on the runway for another 30 minutes while the ground crew diagnosed and finally fixed the problem with the radio. The flight that was supposed to leave Tulsa at 9:55 took off at 11:17. My connecting flight to San Antonio was scheduled to leave at 11:55. We arrived DFW at 11:43 at gate C35, and I needed to be at gate A24 in 12 minutes. I rushed and hurried, got on the tram and ran to gate A24. The plane was still there, but the door was shut. The lady behind the counter (oh how I wished it was Lisa) didn't really care much, but said I was now confirmed on the 1:05 flight to San Antonio at gate C 25...just feet from where I initially got off the first plane.

I made my way to the gate. There was no time to grab any lunch, so I had "skips". We boarded the plane on time. This flight was much more crowded than the last. I sat next to a middle aged woman who wore way too much perfume, probably trying to cover up the cigarette smoke smell. Most of you know that I am not a small person, well okay, I am fat. To be quite honest, I am fully convinced that the seats on an MD-80 were designed to comfortably fit midgets. I am not sure which was worse, the awful perfume smell or the discomfort of the seat. Either way, they were both bad.

Upon arriving in San Antonio, I checked my voice mail. Our market admin aide had called and was very concerned that I was not on my original flight and was MIA. I had to call her and let her know that I was in fact safe and accounted for. I got in a van (some surplus CIA vehicle I am quite sure of) and was taken to my hotel.

Pre-Travel Blogging Extravaganza

2008-04-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

What is up? The Jester is back doing what he does...laying down the smack. I thought I would just do a quick hitter about my next few weeks of travel (which I will get to soon) or about the new truck I bought (which I will get to soon), but something came across my path that was to good to let pass by.

We all know Alicia Keys, right? You know, very accomplished musician, song writer, winner of 11 Grammys, winner of 11 Billboard Music Awards, 3 American Music Awards, and 14...count 'em 14 NAACP Image Awards. Pretty impressive list, right? Don't mischaracterize what I am about to say, because I like her music.

Keys said in a recent issue of Blender Magazine (anyone ever heard of this mag?) that "Gangsta' Rap was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other." She went on to say that "the East Coast/West Coast feud between Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. (although I like to refer to him as Biggie Smalls) was fueled by the government and the media to stop another black leader from existing."

Wow, where do I start? I mean really, this is like shooting fish in a barrel with a rocket powered grenade. For so many other reasons than the blatantly obvious, I will not touch the first quote. But for fun, I will discuss the second one. Let's dissect it one piece at a time.

First, she claims the East Coast/West Coast feud (which by the way, I took the West Coast and the points even though there was so much drama in the LBC) was fueled by the government. Alicia, honey, sweetie, of which government are you speaking? The US government??? Let's list some names, shall we? Dick Cheney, Ted Kennedy, Robert Byrd, Max Waxman, Christopher Dodd, John Kerry, John McCain or insert the name of anyone of 100 Congressmen/women on either side of the aisle probably thought the East Coast/West Coast feud had more to do with the amount of lead in rat feces found floating in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans than rap music. I am the first one to say that most of our elected officials are complete idiots that are far more concerned lining their pockets with bribes and tax money than doing the right thing but you cannot be serious with this claim. I would be willing to bet every dime I have ever earned in my life that Dick Cheney could not give you the title to one song from NWA.

Now, for part two of the least intelligent statement of the day. Was it Tupac or B.I.G. that was going to become a great leader? I am so torn on this one! Let's start with Tupac. I am a fan, so I will give credit where it is due. Tupac Shakur is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the highest selling rap artist of all times. At the time of print (sorry I don't know what year) he had sold 75,000,000(that is 75 million for those of you who attend OSU) copies of his albums worldwide. What a huge accomplishment! Tupac grew up in a terribly poor section of East Harlem. He started his career as a roadie and back up dancer for Digital Underground (yeah, you know the Humpty Dance...come on come on). His career soon skyrocketed and he sold a ton of albums. He was also in trouble with the law on many many occasions. October 1991 he sues the Oakland, CA Police Dept for allegedly beating him over a jaywalking violation. In October 1993 he shot two off duty ATL Police officers who were harassing a motorist, charges were dropped. In December 1993, he was charged with sexual battery, sentenced for a year and a half. These are not really leadership qualities are they, or is just me?

B.I.G. grew up in Brooklyn and was a drug dealer in his youth. He sold a lot of albums as well as Tupac and had run ins with the police like Tupac. March 1996 charged with "harassment" after smashing a taxi window, pulling out two autograph seekers and repeatedly punching them. In mid 1996 arrested for drug and weapons charges. In March 1997, Biggie was killed in a drive by shooting. Again, any leadership qualities here? I didn't think so.

Flying out to San Antonio Tuesday, then back to Arkansas for two weeks starting April 21. Will blog more soon.

Jester Out!

Back in the Saddle Again...

2008-03-19T18:10:00.001-07:00

Hello one and all for the latest installment of the now not so Daily Take that Doesn't Suck. Let me just get a couple of things off my chest. To the lady that hit, scratched, and scraped my car today in the parking lot then just drove off...we are praying that you will do the right thing and call me tomorrow apologizing and giving me your insurance information. God always works and he is always on time and I am faithful to him. But just in case the lady that was driving decides not to listen to God, maybe she will be convinced to do the right thing when the Tulsa Police Department pay her a visit, hopefully tomorrow. This is the second time in the last 7 years that my car has been hit at work. I won't boar you with the details but an Isuzu Trooper (unoccupied with the parking brake not set and not in gear) rolled all the way across the parking lot at the 15th and Lewis Walgreens smashing into my Honda. It did almost $3000 in damage. I am sure this one will be close to that as well.

Enough of that noise. So, you gotta wonder how happy the people of New York are these days...not that I could imagine them being very happy to begin with for oh so many reasons. You got Elliot Spitzer paying for it. Just a side note, dude is not a pretty man. He looks like a scrawnier, jewish version of Carl Childers from Slingblade..."I got no reason to kill nobody, uhm hummm oye vay." I guess dude felt like he had to pay for it, but even as ugly as he is, I think he got ripped off a little bit. I mean come on...$4300, that's a starter car here in Oklahoma. There are 'necks out here that bought their first Firebird (probably a 1983-1986) for that money or less. You know you have a problem and way to much money when you are dropping $4000 plus for some lovin'. Come on dude, apply yourself. You have a pretty attractive wife, although I have no idea what she sees in you. But really, talk to her, romance her, and you will probably be able to have relations with her. And you won't be dropping thousands of dollars in the process. Just my opinion...come on Carl, give it a shot, you have nothing more to lose.

Just when you thought that was over, the new Gov admits his marital indiscretions while the seats were still warm from his swearing in ceremony. I mean, call me crazy but maybe you could have admitted this before you took the office. I am not sure if I hold this dude any less accountable than Spitzer. He didn't pay for it (that we are aware of) but he cheated on his wife several times with several different women. Dudes wife is very attractive and again, all he had to do was apply himself. Dude is blind, so maybe he has no idea how good he had it at home. How hard is it to find a stinkin politician that is not a freak in the sack???

So this week, Barack gave his "let me distance myself from my pastor that I have known and trusted for the last twenty years that is now making me look really bad" speech. It was a good speech but he didn't really didn't say much. It was the Washington version of the Wagoner County bait and switch. The speech was talked up and millions awaited it. It was very eloquent but had no substance to it. As Dan Rather said, "in Texas High School football terms, he is all drop back and no pass." I still think he will be our next president, but there may be more skeletons falling out of the closet.

More to come later...Jester out!!!

And The Winner Is....

2008-02-20T06:06:00.000-08:00

Nobody. In the red corner we have Hillary Clinton. By the way, has she dropped the Rodham from her name?? She is a high strung, high temper hippie/femenist reject from the 1960's. (By the way, if you are so flat chested that you don't wear a bra, is it still proper etiquette to burn them? Not sure on that one.) I know looks shouldn't make a difference in presidential politics, but it does. Unfortunately, Senator Clinton is not a very attractive person. Don't get me wrong, she is much better looking than any picture I have seen of her during the 1960's and
1970's...back then, there weren't enough pork chops to put around her neck for the dog to play with her. Today, she just looks like a mean, nasty (think of Ursala from Little Mermaid) old woman. Do something for yourself Hil...have a little work done, maybe have the doctors do their thing so you can actually smile and it not look scripted. Call Joan Rivers, she can recommend a team of docs. Then again, maybe I am way off here. You be the judge.

In the blue corner we have Barack Obama. He will turn 47 this year, putting him the same age as John McCain's youngest great grand child, but that will come later in this rant. Barack is a wonderful speaker. I remember seeing him give the keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention. I told my wife at that moment, "you are looking at a future president." It looks like he will beat the Clinton machine and get the nomination, unless something sinister happens ala Vince Foster. Let's pray that doesn't happen. Don't misunderstand, Barack is a liberal. He doesn't really deny it, but he doesn't embrace it either. Dude has the opportunity to make a true difference in this country and change things. He is not a Washington insider that has been eating out of the "Gubment" trough for the last 40 years like McCain, or for the last almost 30 years like the Clintons. More on Obama below.

On the outside of the steel cage waiting to take on the winner of the Democratic Battle Royal is John McCain. John unfortunately sounds like he swallowed Sylvester the Cat (Looney Tunes) when he talks, and his jowls are so swollen, it looks like he swallowed him as well. McCain seems like he is spending most of his time reminding his base that he is conservative. I have a little advice for you John, if you have to remind yourself and the people around you, that you are not crazy, you might be a little crazy...just ask Britney Spears. So, in your case, replace crazy with conservative and replace Britney Spears with the American people. In retrospect, that is a really terrible analogy, but it's the best I can do on my day off.

I am a Republican, but more than that, I am an American. That being said, McCain ain't my man...he will not get my vote. The US needs someone that we can all rally around and bring this country back to the level that we can be. In my opinion, Clinton and McCain are not those people. I am not sure Obama is that person either. Is he the lesser of the evils? Your thoughts???

I promise the next post will not be all serious and stuff!

Jester Out!!!

Sorry Kelly

2008-02-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

Not much time to blog this morning. Just a quick apology to all the Kelly Clarkson fans out there. I mistakenly left her off the list of performers that we saw in KC week before last. She had strong vocals, especially for 10:00 in the morning...very impressive.

Again, sorry for leaving you off the list Kelly! Forgive me?

More to come this week.

Jester Out!

Post KC Pre OKC

2008-02-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

Hello again one and all. Have you missed the Jester? I know you have. I have been on the road the last week in Kansas City for Sam's Club Year Begining Meetings. Wow, what a tremendous amount of information packed into a 3 day meeting. I learned a ton about culture. I know you are thinking...culture, what is this that Jester speaks? The 25 years of Sam's Club has produced tons of extremely valuable people and their integrity, personalities, ethics and habits have formed our culture.

Sandwiched between meetings we had some great entertainment. The first day we had Lifehouse (a really surprisingly good band...remember "Hanging By a Moment"), Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds (great vocalist, guitar player, and co-wrote "Change the World" with Clapton). Thursday we had REO Speedwagon. No offense here, but I am just curious which state fair had to do without REO so we could have them. They sounded pretty good, but the lead singer Kevin Cronin did not age gracefully. Dude had some spooky eyebrows going on. They did 4 or 5 songs that were loud enough to easily be heard across into the Kansas side of the city. The last day we had Martina McBride. She is a pretty nice looking lady with a good voice. I wish I knew more of her songs. The only one I was familiar with was "Independance Day".

I will leave Tuesday for Oklahoma City for 3 fun filled days of reviewing managerial evals. That will be a fun filled 3 days I am quite sure. I will get to see my Developmental GM counterpart while there though, so that's good. We actually roomed together in KC. He is a nice guy, shout out to Jeff.

I was checking out what was on InDemand on Cox Digital and came across the bomb. Stevie Ray Vaughn live in Germany from 1984. It is a 73 minute live performance that absolutely rocks. If you are a fan and you have InDemand, you have to check it out.

I will holla post OKC. Jester Out!

Goodbye To Fred

2008-01-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say it wasn't a huge earth shattering surprise to see good old boy Fred Thompson fold up and head back to Tennessee. Fred was my man, but he just didn't campaign at all. His personality seemed to be somewhere between his character "Big John" Commissioner of NASCAR in Days of Thunder and "Rear Admiral Joshua Painter-USS Enterprise" from The Hunt for Red October.

My wife brought up a great point about Fred. She thinks he is above all the Washington antics. I see Fred as a true stand up man that doesn't bend to lobbyists with buckets of cash or to deal cutting, spineless, greasy, worthless, unethical, lying members of congress.

I am so disenchanted with politicians. I don't trust anyone anymore. William J. Jefferson gets caught on camera taking bribes and the feds find $90,000 in his freezer. Am I silly for not keeping my cash in the freezer?? Then you have creepy Larry (let me follow in the footsteps of Mike "I am not gay" Piazza) Craig. We all know the story, so I won't go into graphic details, but we can all agree that the guy is a creep that thinks he is above the law. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is a fourth-term member of the senate. He is the Minority Leader in the 110th Congress and sits on the Senate Appropriations Committee. Senator McConnell’s ethics issues stem from earmarks he has inserted into legislation for clients of his former chief of staff, lobbyist Gordon Hunter Bates, in exchange for campaign contributions as well as the misuse of his nonprofit The McConnell Center for Political Leadership at the University of Louisville. Then we have Rep. David Scott (D-GA). He is a third-term congressman, representing Georgia’s 13th district. Rep. Scott’s ethics issues stem from allegations of tax evasion and misuse of official resources for political campaign activity. In 2003, Rep. Scott and his wife, Ms. Alfredia Scott, began missing federal income tax payments that now total nearly $154,000 and have failed to pay $23,200 in taxes on their Georgia home. In addition, their company Dayn-Mark Advertising, failed to pay over $4,600 in local and state taxes since 1998. At the same time the Scotts were failing to pay their taxes, they increased their stock holdings from $5,000 to about $67,000 and bought a $702,000 rowhouse in Washington D.C. More than 40 tax liens have been placed against Rep. Scott’s home and business. What a bunch of losers.

I don't know who I am going to support at this point. Giuliani is just spooky. Dude has more skeletons in his closet than your crazy uncle that no one talks about. McCain is a patriot that I have the up most respect for militarily, but I don't like his policies. They are both social conservatives in my opinion. Ron Paul is just a complete lunatic, non issue. I like Huckabee, maybe for no other reason that Ric Flair (the Nature Boy...whoooooooo) has endorsed him.

I am not sure it makes a difference who we put up there this year. I really think Obama or Hillary (whichever comes out the least bloody at the end of the primaries) will take it all. If I had to choose today between the two of them, I would have to say Obama. Not that he is any less liberal than Hillary, but that he might actually make some changes in Washington. Is it just wishful thinking?

Jester Out!

Back in Black

2008-01-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

I know it has been forever since I blogged last, let me quickly explain. First of all the holidays kicked my bottom. I worked lots of hours, lots of days, and had not enough time with my family. Holidays ended, then Kaedra comes down with pnemonia, and is hospitalized. Then, I try to blog and my blog is flagged for being spam...yes, SPAM.

Now that it has been unlocked, I can blog.

More to come,

Jester OUT

Good Luck...

2007-12-18T05:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I promised you political commentary and pop culture peppered with my bitter witty sarcasm, but I have to share what happened last night. My lovely wife and I went out to eat before tackling some last minute Christmas shopping. We had only been seated at Johnny Carinos for a few moments, when Kahri said of this woman a few tables away, "that girl is looking at me." I looked up from the menu to find she was looking in both our direction. It was odd, she looked familiar. But, most that know me know that I have a bit of a mental haze from about 15-30 years old.

It was becoming almost uneasy glancing up and seeing this woman watch us. Then she mouths the word "hi" at us. At this point, I jokingly say to Kahri that she is making a pass at one or both of us. As this mysterious woman gets up to leave, she walks over to our table, puts her hand on Kahri's shoulder and tells her "good luck with that" referring to me as she rolled her eyes.

At very few points in my life have I been speechless, however this was one of them. The synapses in my brain were firing a thousand comebacks per second, but my mouth could not make the words. All I could do was laugh. My darling wife took it, as I would expect her to, very well. She knows that I have been very happily and faithfully married to her for almost 9 years now.

So, Brandi (we know this because the person you were dining with yelled your name across the restaurant to let you know you had the car keys)if I or one of my old com padres wronged you in some way please first accept my apology, then secondly my invitation to get over it. We tend to walk much straighter and upright when we are not carrying an offense around with us, especially one from possibly 10+ years ago.

Well, hopefully you have mistaken me for someone else, but either way that caused a good laugh. On the upswing, we almost completed all of our shopping. Only one more small outing to have it 100% complete.

From the small world in which we live,
Jester Out!!!

The Frozen Tundra

2007-12-16T06:40:00.001-08:00

I know it has been a long stretch since my last post, however it has been a bit busy 'round here. For starters, I was on the road week before last in lovely Joplin, MO...which I believe is Creek Indian for "village of few suitable restaurants." After that overnight excursion was over, I returned home to spend a couple of really nice days with my family (okay, I won't lie...I slept most of the time).

Then it happened. At approx 1:30 am last Monday the power flickered, then flickered again, then it went out. The freezing rain and sleet that had been falling since Saturday night had taken its toll on the power lines and trees. The alarm of Kaedra's oxygen concentrator brought us downstairs with flash lights and candles to light they way. We hooked Kaedy Bug up to a small O2 tank and listened to the tree limbs fall. The sky was dark, only being lit up by transformer boxes on power poles exploding, which by the way emits a beautiful color. I stayed awake until about 5:30, then slept until about 7.

I called my boss, who was very understanding that we had to find a place to take Kaedra that had power and heat. Since the cell phone towers were frozen, there was little to no coverage making it next to impossible to make calls. So, got packed, loaded up both cars and headed out to get a hotel, or so we thought. Not a hotel to be found. So then, we called my mom who had power, but now had lost it. So, I sent Kahri and the kids that way, and I went ISO a generator. Not a generator to be found, or so we thought.

I called my friend Curtis to see if his friend still owned an equipment rental store, so I might be able to find a generator. Curtis called me back to say he had a generator that we could borrow. What a blessing my friend is to us!!! We picked it up and headed for my moms house. Just a few minutes later we had heat, lights, and Kaedra's equipment all hooked up and running. We (and some of our nursing staff) lived at my moms house for several days, until our power was restored.

Our house was damaged from falling limbs, and we lost all the food in the fridge garage freezer, but we all survived the Frozen Tundra of Coweta.

More to come soon,
Jester Out

Saying Goodbye to a Legend

2007-11-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today, 11/30/2007, we lost a pop culture icon. Evel Kenievel was bigger than life for me when I was a kid. He jumped over big things with motorcycles. There were huge staged explosions. And chances were, he would lay down or just straight out crash his bike on impact when trying to stick a landing. There were very few things in life more entertaining to a boy than a true to life Daredevil. Of course, after growing up a bit, I realized Evel battled a lot of demons such as alcoholism, prescription drug abuse and domestic violence.

After seeing Knievel jump cars, buses, RVs, and the like for a few years I had to have the Evel Knievel toys. I had the Evel Knievel stunt cycle (check it out), it was the coolest. I would crank this cycle up and crash it into everything I possibly could, much to the dismay of my parents who didn't really want their coffee tables and walls dinged up by 2 pound hunk of plastic flying around all over the house.

Then on September 8, 1974 I saw the most bizarre thing on TV I had ever seen. Now, by most bizarre, you have to remember I am not old enough to have seen Lee Harvey Oswald shot in Dallas on live TV and the OJ Simpson slow speed Bronco chase hadn't happened yet. Another day, we can discuss the most twisted things ever seen on live tv. Anyway, back in 1974, Evel Knievel decided to strap himself into a modified rocket and shoot himself (Wiley Coyote-esque) over the Snake River Canyon in Idaho. The distance from the end of the take off ramp to the beginning of the landing ramp was roughly 1500 feet. You have to realize that 1500 feet across wasn't the scary part, it was the fact that he was going to be roughly 2000 feet from the bottom of the canyon. Now add the fact that Evel needed to propel this rocket (again, Wiley Coyote-Esq) approx 800-1000 feet above the rim of the canyon. So, now that 2000 feet to the bottom just got increased to almost 3000 feet, or about 2/3-3/4 of a mile to fall if something goes wrong...what could go wrong?

My dad really had no interest in watching a performance of this magnitude. You have to remember, this was 1974 and the Cowboys were probably playing ball or Arnold Palmer was playing golf that day. So, I was forced to witness this moment in sports/sports entertainment history on a small 9 inch black and white tv equipped with rabbit ears...remember, this is many moons before cable. But for a 6 year old in 1974, this was the biggidy bomb. After all the hoopla and interviews, jump time finally came. Like other things later in life (only a couple of times, mind you) it seems like the whole thing was over before it began.

The rocket shot off the ramp and the parachute accidentally deployed immediately causing the speed to drop drastically and the rocket to gain virtually no altitude. The rocket, as well as the spirits of millions of Knievel fans, crashed and burned on live television. He was rescued, but there would be no Snake River II.

Even as an old contrary fart, Evel Knievel was a daredevil until the day he died. He was more of a showman than P.T. Barnum and more of a promoter than Don King and Vince McMahon combined. He could have sold tickets to a Somoan Tiddlywink contest and made it seem to have the highest level of danger imaginable.

We so enjoyed watching you laugh in the face of danger. Thank you for all the memories. Evel, you will be missed!

Sleepless in Arkansas

2007-11-27T15:06:00.000-08:00

So much to say, so little sanity left to write it. I am coming to you today from lovely Ft. Smith, AR. I have been drafted to come up to the Sam's Club here and help get them caught up on things that they are behine on. Unfortunately getting them caught up on these things requires working overnights. Which is worse, sleeping less than 6 hours since Sunday or being so tired that almost every word is misspelled and requires a backspace? Let me know your thoughts on this matter. But enough whining and complaining from me about lack of sleep...I always told Kahri that I would get all the sleep I need when I am dead, but I am beginning to rethink that position.

Let's get started and talk a little politics, shall we? Now, if you are like me, you have been tittering on pins and needles on when Barbara Striesand will endorse a candidate for president. I know, I can hardly make it through a day without calling her personal assistant and asking what Bab's thinks I should do when it comes to issues such as stain removal, the type of wine that really compliments a good room temperature bree, and most of all how to expound your liberal dribble concerning the environment to the "little people" then turn around and do the exact opposite in your own life because she really cares! Read on to see her pic for the prez...I am sure it is no surprise.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Barbra Streisand, who hedged her bets months ago with donations to Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards, has settled on one presidential candidate.
It's Hillary.

"Madame President of the United States ... it's an extraordinary thought. We truly are in a momentous time, where a woman's potential has no limitations," Streisand said in a statement released Tuesday by the Clinton campaign. "Hillary Clinton has already proven to a generation of women that there are no limits for success."

The Oscar-winning actress and singer is a FOB—Friend of Bill Clinton—and the endorsement is hardly surprising. In Hollywood, as in politics, timing is everything, and Streisand's endorsement comes one day after another entertainment superstar, Oprah Winfrey, announced she would campaign for Clinton rival Barack Obama.

"Hillary is a powerful voice for change as we find our country at an important crossroads. Under her leadership, our country will regain its respect within the global community. She will prioritize issues of global climate change, universal health care and rebuilding a strong economy. After eight long years, the public will once again have faith in their government," said Streisand, a longtime supporter of Democratic candidates.

In the statement, Hillary Clinton said she was honored for the support.

"Barbra has used her immense talent to be an advocate for truth, justice, and fairness and I deeply appreciate her confidence in my candidacy as we work together to change the direction of our nation," Clinton said.

Okay...that's all I got today. I can go no more. Stay tuned tomorrow for more of the Take that Doesn't Suck!

Ft Smith, OUT!

Day One

2007-11-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

Expectations and emotions are running high in anticipation of this magnimus blogging debut. And I certainly hope this will not disappoint. Let's start out with this little diddy (not p diddy) from the wonderful world of Wisconsin. Apparently, life up in the big Wis runs a little slow. Read on...

WAUPACA, Wis. (AP) -- A man who was upset with his wife for not buying beer took vengeance by shooting the family's two pet goats, prosecutors say.

Peter W. Mischler, 48, was charged this week in Circuit Court with mistreatment of animals, possession of a firearm while intoxicated and disorderly conduct with a dangerous weapon.

The complaint said Mischler came home Monday from hunting and became angry with his 22-year-old daughter for letting the goats out and making a mess. While she was talking on the phone to her mother, authorities said, he told her to tell his wife to bring home some beer, but his wife refused because she was already on her way home.

He then threatened to shoot the goats, according to the complaint. After his wife arrived home, she and the daughter heard four gunshots.

"He shot both of them. He killed Flash, and the officer had to kill Chloe," the daughter, Megan Mischler, said in a phone interview Wednesday. "I really don't understand why he shot them - they didn't deserve it."

She said her father had been most angry about the mess the goats made, not the beer.

The family is now grieving the loss of the two goats, Megan Mischler said.

"We took those goats swimming, we took them to Dairy Queen to get ice cream, they were completely leash-trained," she said, her voice trembling. "They were more than goats to us, they were more like a dog. And they didn't deserve this."

Peter Mischler was released on $1,000 bond. When The Associated Press called the home Wednesday evening, his wife said her husband was not available for comment.

(This version CORRECTS that two goats were shot and that incident happened Monday).)

At this point I have to say I am not sure which is more concerning, the fact that these folks (who apparently haven't been out of the trailer park very long) have goats as pets, or the fact that they named them and took them to the DQ. Either way, if you plan a sabatical to the Wis, stay out of old Pete's way unless you have a 30 pack of Nattie Light for him or he might just drop you.

Our Dufus of the Day award goes to the laziest Postal Worker ever, see the article below. He apprently lives in the ABQ. His job is so stressfull and taxing to his body, he was forced to throw some of the mail into the ditch. Of course, he opened them first to look for money or gift cards, but I am sure he would have tracked down the sender and returned it to them personally....not.

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- An Albuquerque couple said they saw a mailman dump about 15 holiday cards in an irrigation ditch.

A complaint filed with the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Office states that Donald and Jeanette Garcia jumped into the ditch to rescue the mail after seeing it thrown from a postal truck while they were fishing along the Rio Grande Monday afternoon.

The Garcias said the mailman returned and confronted the Garcias, begging them to give back the mail.

They refused, and he left.

The Garcias said he backed up so they couldn't get the truck's number or license plate number.

The Garcias said much of the mail appeared to have been opened.

The Postal Service's inspector general's office has been contacted.

Hoped you enjoyed my first installment. Drop me a line and let me know the haps on the blog. For now...Court Jester out!!!

About Myself

2007-11-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

First of all, thanks for stopping by. I know there is not much to see, YET, but come back every day or two and I promise you will not be disappointed.

I know what you are thinking....just another blog.

Everyone's got a blog, but no one's got one like the Court Jester does.

What you will find here is a daily collection of the bizarre, the moronic, the imbecilic, and most of all, the true news of the day.

Who needs CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and the like when I can bring it to ya all wrapped up in a nice little foil swan.

see illustration to the right ---->

(for the foil swan impaired)