Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Is getting there REALLY half the fun?

My beautiful wife dropped me off at the airport this morning at about 8:00 am. It was a crisp April morning not unlike the one before it. After saying our goodbyes, I went into the airport to check my bags and print my boarding passes. Behind the counter was bright shining smiling Lisa (Pastors daughter) who helped me pick a better seat and get my bag checked...thanks Lisa!!! But then it went south.


I choked down the $9 (actually $11 after tip) Breakfast Tacos from TGIFridays. I forgot how bad powdered eggs are. I made my way over to the gate area to wait on my flight. They began boarding after about 15 minutes of waiting. I was in group 6. After calling groups 1-4, they just stopped. After several minutes, they said they were having a problem with something or other and they would not continue boarding until it was resolved. About 15 minutes later they began boarding again. I am all comfy in my seat, listening to music when the Captain says that they are experiencing a problem with the radio.


We sat on the runway for another 30 minutes while the ground crew diagnosed and finally fixed the problem with the radio. The flight that was supposed to leave Tulsa at 9:55 took off at 11:17. My connecting flight to San Antonio was scheduled to leave at 11:55. We arrived DFW at 11:43 at gate C35, and I needed to be at gate A24 in 12 minutes. I rushed and hurried, got on the tram and ran to gate A24. The plane was still there, but the door was shut. The lady behind the counter (oh how I wished it was Lisa) didn't really care much, but said I was now confirmed on the 1:05 flight to San Antonio at gate C 25...just feet from where I initially got off the first plane.


I made my way to the gate. There was no time to grab any lunch, so I had "skips". We boarded the plane on time. This flight was much more crowded than the last. I sat next to a middle aged woman who wore way too much perfume, probably trying to cover up the cigarette smoke smell. Most of you know that I am not a small person, well okay, I am fat. To be quite honest, I am fully convinced that the seats on an MD-80 were designed to comfortably fit midgets. I am not sure which was worse, the awful perfume smell or the discomfort of the seat. Either way, they were both bad.


Upon arriving in San Antonio, I checked my voice mail. Our market admin aide had called and was very concerned that I was not on my original flight and was MIA. I had to call her and let her know that I was in fact safe and accounted for. I got in a van (some surplus CIA vehicle I am quite sure of) and was taken to my hotel.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Pre-Travel Blogging Extravaganza

What is up? The Jester is back doing what he does...laying down the smack. I thought I would just do a quick hitter about my next few weeks of travel (which I will get to soon) or about the new truck I bought (which I will get to soon), but something came across my path that was to good to let pass by.


We all know Alicia Keys, right? You know, very accomplished musician, song writer, winner of 11 Grammys, winner of 11 Billboard Music Awards, 3 American Music Awards, and 14...count 'em 14 NAACP Image Awards. Pretty impressive list, right? Don't mischaracterize what I am about to say, because I like her music.


Keys said in a recent issue of Blender Magazine (anyone ever heard of this mag?) that "Gangsta' Rap was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other." She went on to say that "the East Coast/West Coast feud between Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. (although I like to refer to him as Biggie Smalls) was fueled by the government and the media to stop another black leader from existing."


Wow, where do I start? I mean really, this is like shooting fish in a barrel with a rocket powered grenade. For so many other reasons than the blatantly obvious, I will not touch the first quote. But for fun, I will discuss the second one. Let's dissect it one piece at a time.


First, she claims the East Coast/West Coast feud (which by the way, I took the West Coast and the points even though there was so much drama in the LBC) was fueled by the government. Alicia, honey, sweetie, of which government are you speaking? The US government??? Let's list some names, shall we? Dick Cheney, Ted Kennedy, Robert Byrd, Max Waxman, Christopher Dodd, John Kerry, John McCain or insert the name of anyone of 100 Congressmen/women on either side of the aisle probably thought the East Coast/West Coast feud had more to do with the amount of lead in rat feces found floating in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans than rap music. I am the first one to say that most of our elected officials are complete idiots that are far more concerned lining their pockets with bribes and tax money than doing the right thing but you cannot be serious with this claim. I would be willing to bet every dime I have ever earned in my life that Dick Cheney could not give you the title to one song from NWA.


Now, for part two of the least intelligent statement of the day. Was it Tupac or B.I.G. that was going to become a great leader? I am so torn on this one! Let's start with Tupac. I am a fan, so I will give credit where it is due. Tupac Shakur is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the highest selling rap artist of all times. At the time of print (sorry I don't know what year) he had sold 75,000,000(that is 75 million for those of you who attend OSU) copies of his albums worldwide. What a huge accomplishment! Tupac grew up in a terribly poor section of East Harlem. He started his career as a roadie and back up dancer for Digital Underground (yeah, you know the Humpty Dance...come on come on). His career soon skyrocketed and he sold a ton of albums. He was also in trouble with the law on many many occasions. October 1991 he sues the Oakland, CA Police Dept for allegedly beating him over a jaywalking violation. In October 1993 he shot two off duty ATL Police officers who were harassing a motorist, charges were dropped. In December 1993, he was charged with sexual battery, sentenced for a year and a half. These are not really leadership qualities are they, or is just me?


B.I.G. grew up in Brooklyn and was a drug dealer in his youth. He sold a lot of albums as well as Tupac and had run ins with the police like Tupac. March 1996 charged with "harassment" after smashing a taxi window, pulling out two autograph seekers and repeatedly punching them. In mid 1996 arrested for drug and weapons charges. In March 1997, Biggie was killed in a drive by shooting. Again, any leadership qualities here? I didn't think so.


Flying out to San Antonio Tuesday, then back to Arkansas for two weeks starting April 21. Will blog more soon.


Jester Out!