Thursday, August 13, 2009

It's been such a long time...

Wow, it has been seven months and a hand full of days since I last blogged. Holy moly, frijole lots of things have changed and happened in that time. Let's all look back on the Jester's life and get caught up, shall we?

We have moved. We now live in the shadows of the grain elevators that contain "Yukon's Best Flour". To make it even better, there is a huge, massive, gargantuan, obnoxious flashing neon sign on the grain elevator that says Yukon's Best Flour. Prior to moving here, I was never aware that there was any discrepancy between the best flour that Yukon produced and the other sub par Yukon produced flours on the market. Silly, silly me. Anyway, we were transferred to the OKC metro. I actually work at the Sam's Club in Edmond. Not knowing how long we would be here, we decided to rent a home instead of buying, so we finally found something nice in Yukon. It is MUCH smaller than our old home in BA. We purposely have a garage full of boxes that are still not unpacked, for many reasons. First being, not enough room in the house for everything, secondly we don't really want to have to repack everything when we get transferred/promoted to our real city.

In my youth, I remember really disliking the OKC metro. In fact, I used to refer to it as the "toilet at the end of the turnpike". But, I gotta tell you, it is a really nice city. I mean, sure it has crime...and it is hot...and the wind blows (all the time)...and parts of the city really smell bad...and the streets pretty much all run diagonally, but it is so much better than it used to be. I am very impressed at the revitalization of the Bricktown area, Lake Hefner, etc. We are making the best of being here and really looking forward to moving on.

Enough about me...I am pretty sure you didn't come here to read about my life, you came here to see my razor sharp wit and political savvy come together to make a gumbo of sarcasm. So let us begin.

Obamacare...This one is like shooting fish in a barrel with sticks of dynamite. Who in their right mind would like our Federal Government making an attempt to run a health care system? These are the same people that have absolutely ruined the health care system for our heroes, the Veterans. It is an embarrassment that we are treating our heroes in this manner. The House of Representatives Bill is on the Congressional website for all to read, yet so many politicians deny the things that some of us disagree with is even in the Bill.

End of life counselling, wow. So, anyone who is not currently or will not grow up to be productive members of society could be looked at as a burden to the system. Let's take this exercise one step further. Some of you may and others may not know, I am the father of a very beautiful special needs child. Kaedra was born on November 6, 2004. I challenge you to follow this link.......and read her story, look at her pictures. I will warn you, have tissues handy, you will need them. So many doctors told us that "she would not live" or "she won't live long" or "well, she will have no quality of life". She, through prayers many and divine miracles, proved them all wrong. Under this plans current draft, the life of our beautiful daughter would be at risk because of the level of care that she needed as an infant/toddler. I cannot believe that we are at the brink of putting life and death decisions in the hands of bureaucrats and politicians. God help us all.

Thank the Lord above, we have health insurance. It is not great, but it is insurance. We had to pay a little over $1000 out of pocket when I had the Gallbladder-ectomy in 12/08. The only reason it was that inexpensive was because we had almost met our deductible. If people used their homeowners or car insurance the way they used their health insurance, they would almost assuredly be cancelled. Does the insurance industry make a profit? Of course it does. Private industry is supposed to make a profit. That profit puts people to work. The government has taken over car companies, bought into a majority of the banking industry, now this. How on earth are we going to pay for all of this? Yours and my tax dollars. I work HARD. I am over taxed. Our tax burden is so high that every penny I make for the first 5 months of the year pay taxes. Federal Income tax, state income tax, FICA, sales tax, property tax, car tags, taxes on utilities, excise tax, fuel taxes, the list goes on and on. I cannot believe the politicians cannot see that we are not only taxing ourselves, but we are taxing our grandchildren into oblivion to pay for these programs.

So, I am not a bad person that wishes any harm on anyone. I am an American, with the same rights to free speech and public assembly as the protesters did during Vietnam, the protesters that march at IMF rallies/G8 summits, etc. The politicians that are trying to force feed us this legislation are finally seeing that the citizens of the United States of America are completely fed up with egos and the arrogance of Washington DC. I watch in amazement at the way people who disagree with this plan are being screamed at by the members of Congress. I am even more stunned at the names that normal everyday Americans are being called because the dare to disagree with ideas coming out of Washington. I believe they honestly think we are too dumb and too lazy to care. America, I dare you to care!

I dare you to contact your Congressional Representative and let them know how you feel. Whether you agree or disagree with this plan, participate in the process. I am going to write a letter today to my Reps, Senator and to our President. Will it make a difference? If I am the only person in America to do it, no it won't. Don't let me be the only one to voice an opinion.

I know this blog is not filled with biting sarcasm and funnies, that will return soon. Don't go quietly into the night.

Jester Out

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Overnight Adventure

What is up? Just a quick post to let you all know that I am going to be working nights for an unspecified amount of time. My club is going through a remodel that begins tonight. I am running the construction crews that are working overnights.

What can I say? I am far from thrilled about this. I will only see my wife and kids for a very short period daily. My two days off per week will be spent trying to catch up on sleep and not get my days and nights anymore jacked up than they all ready are. I can only hope that my boss notices the sacrifice that I am giving him and says "wow, let's give this man a building of his own." And let's hope this happens before I lose my mind from working nights, my wife leaves me, my wife divorces me, or my kids forget who I am...whichever comes first.

There are specific things that the crew has to complete every night for this project to go well and finish on time. It is my job to work with the crew to make sure these tasks get accomplished on time. Tonight they will be working on the exit vestibule area and the cart garage. Monday night continues this work and starts on the managers office and the upstairs conference room.

To make this an even more jacked up adjustment to my body, I have 6 days in a row off beginning Friday. So, when I return to work I will have to get used to nights again...I can't complain, it is 6 days off to enjoy my fam. Then back to work for about 2 and a half weeks, then Kansas City for 5 days of meetings, just in time to mess with sleep patterns. Again...I can't complain, it is a great gig, just a bump in the road, right?

So, if you email and I don't respond as quickly as normal don't take it personally, I am just sharing the night with the vampires.

Good night now
Michael d

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sooners Raided the Red Raiders!

What is up? Holy about those Oklahoma Sooners? They DOMINATED Texas Tech on both sides of the ball last night. Besides some really stupid penalties (and some really bad calls by the officials) and the weekly adventure that we call Special Teams, that was the best overall performance that I have seen OU put up since the National Championship game in the 2000 Orange Bowl win over Florida State.

Sam Bradford is a stud. DeMarco Murray is a stud. Austin Box is a stud. Bob Stoops and Brent Venables are insane geniuses. A lot of fun was poked at Bob Stoops this week when during a press conference, he asked the crowd to get into the game. The OU crowd at Memorial Stadium can get somewhat loud when a touchdown is scored, but they are not known for getting anywhere near raucous when the defense is on the field. In fact our buddy Chris Plank over on the Buzz called the crowd "Merlot sippers" at times, which I tend to agree with. Well, there is no egg on Stoops face this morning. The 82,121 people packed into Memorial Stadium made some serious noise from the opening kickoff until the final whistle blew. I was very proud of the fans stepping up and doing what a college home crowd should do. I really detest the term "12th man" and always think of the "Jack booted thugs" down at College Station.

Now the big test is next weekend in Stillwater. OSU always shows up to play in the Bedlam series. We will see this afternoon how the joke of the BCS rates us. I am not holding my breath.

Good night now...Jester Out!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Righteous Wind of Change At Our Back

Well, it is finally over and I really don't feel any you? Weren't we promised money would fall from the sky if we make less than $250k per year? Weren't we promised health care for everyone? I was promised "Change". Oh well, when I was a kid, we were promised jet packs and flying cars for everyone as well...I am still waiting on mine!

Right or wrong, it was made very clear last night that a majority of our nation (at least the ones that turned out to vote) were fed up with the business as usual, finger pointing, linked to W republicans. If you are a regular visitor to the Jester's little spot on the web, you probably know that I am fairly disgusted with most politicians on both sides of the aisle.

How on earth could John Murtha have been re-elected last night?? This guy has been in Congress since 1974. Let's put that in perspective. I was 6 years old in 1974. The Space Shuttle had not had its first flight. Skylab had not fallen out of space yet. Stephen King writes Carrie. Disco is get the picture, right? Not only has he been there for a long time, he is an idiot. I don't use the word idiot lightly or without regard. He called his own constituency redneck racists because Obama wasn't polling well in Murtha's own western Pennsylvania. That is how out of touch this clown is with his own electorate. Yet his electorate brings him in for another term. Now I question, is he the idiot or are the voters really this uninformed???

As of this morning it is still undecided in Minnesota between an even bigger idiot (which I am surprised that is even possible) than Murtha, Al Franken and Norm Coleman. I will be upfront on this one, I know absolutely nothing about Norm Coleman. I do know a few things about Al Franken. He is one of those guys who thinks he is funny, but he really isn't...kinda like Chris Medlock, who does afternoons on KFAQ in Tulsa...more about Medlock later. Did anyone like Fraken on SNL? I think not. Anyway, as of late Franken has been trying to keep Air America afloat, but that dog is sinking faster than chili goes through a two year old. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Franken throws puppies out of moving cars, I just don't like him for reasons too many to list here.

Now to Medlock. Most folks know that I enjoy a train wreck, maybe even more than the other guy does. So maybe that explains why I listen to Medlock. When I get stuck taking a late lunch, I normally listen to Plank and Pop over on the Buzz. Although, if I am not particularly interested in their guest at the time, or if they are on a break I will listen to KFAQ for a few. Medlock used to do mornings there, until a very unfortunate microphone slapping accident nearly caused scrap in the studio one morning between he and his female on air partner. It's a shame they didn't fight, she would have hurt him. Anyway, when I tune in for the odd few minutes, I figure I am one of eight people in the Tulsa metro (outside Medlock's family) listening to the show. It is very entertaining to listen to the show, because dude thinks he is funny. Frankenlock, hate to burst your bubble, but you aren't funny. In other bursting bubble news, if they haven't done it yet, the kids at TU will be rolling out the Chris Medlock drinking game. Every time you use the phrase "when I was on the city counsel", "recall", "mama bear", "papa bear" or "baby bear" the players must take a drink. The downside is everyone will be drunk after 2 segments! It would also triple your listening audience if the Sigma Chi House at TU tuned in to play. Come on Frankenlock, loosen up and broaden your horizons a about other things. If you don't try so hard to be funny, you could be funny. Well, maybe not.

Well time to make the donuts. Before I bail let me just say...Thompson/Palin 2012. Jester Out!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

What Happened???

What's up? BOOMER SOONER. Wow, OU rolled the Cornshuckers last night 62-28 and how about them Red Raiders of Texas Tech? They beat the Longhorns. Just remember...Bevo, it's whats for dinner!

Not much time for a take, but I am gonna throw one out there. My lovely wife rented "The Happening" with Marky Mark formerly of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (don't act like you don't remember). This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Folks, this represents two hours of my life I cannot get back, and I am rather upset at this.

As we watched, my emotions ranged from amazement that a studio actually paid someone to write, produce, direct, gaff, best boy, cater, ect this hideous excuse of a film to shock that I was actually still watching this thing. I have never seen a train wreck in real life (although I vaguely recall dating one or two), I am quite sure I would have continued watching it too.

The movie may have actually done one thing that is more odd than anything else that I could possibly think of. I do believe it may have given people with suicidal tendencies (wasn't that a punk band from the early 80's?) many new ways to kill themselves. I honestly would have never thought of starting up a huge golf course style commercial lawn mower (even if you did just find one laying around) and then laying down in front of its path. Gotta say, the movie really sucked.

M. Night, bro, bubby the next time Al Gore calls with a plot for a movie, just don't take the call. Stick with aliens. Signs RULED, it was awesome, it was Double Live Gonzo, Intensity in Ten Cities, it whaled! This one...was just awful.

The only thing that made it somewhat tolerable was the fact that they cast Frank Collison in it. You know old Frank, don't cha? He played Wash Hogwallup in O Brother Where Art Thou. He was the one that so elloquently said that his wife had "runnoft". If you live outside rural Arklahoma/Lousmippi, you might not get that one.

Anyway, I want a refund and my two hours back, but I won't get either. Time to make like a banana and split. War OU moving on up (ala the Jefferson's to the East Side) in the BCS polls, war the Red Raiders smacking down the Longhorns (Hey Otis in Austin, where ya at now sucka???) and war more Billy Mays infomercials and less Barack Obama infomercials!

Jester Out!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Extremely Random Musings

What up Jester followers? Life is good again. Baby girl is out of the hospital and doing very well, Middle girl is growing out of the drama, Big girl is doing wonderful in school and finally Lone boy is a freakin' riot...everyone should have a little boy, they are a blast.

I would like to give a shout out right off the top to AC in Tulsa. I caught the last 10 seconds of his take yesterday on the Plank and Pop show. Nice job AC, especially working the term "meteorologists" into your take, not sure of the context, but your uncle is proud none the less! I know AC has made it all the way to J Stew before on the Rome Show on more than one occasion, but Mr. Automatic deemed it not worthy. Oh well, it is what it is. I am sure AC will keep bringing the noise to the Rome Show until he either impressed J Stew or until he wears him down, whichever comes first. Either way, come on "Guy #1" in the "Jim's Best Friend" episode of "According to Jim" aka J Stew cut AC some slack and hook a brother up. All kidding aside, mad props to the entire Rome Show and crew, you guys are consistently the best show on the air!

If you are a fairly regular visitor to the Jester's blog, you recently saw a take on quite possibly the most bizarre person to have a paying gig on CNN, Larry King. First of all Larry King in HD is a scary scary thing. I am fully convinced you could run slot race cars in the wrinkles on his face. And for real, you would think they could do something about the shoulders. I came across this photo at TMZ (they get all credit, so please don't sue me) and thought it was the most hysterical thing I have ever seen in my life. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Larry King looking as constipated as ever.

All right, I had more but this has taken all day, so I will do more tomorrow or the next day.

Goodnight now Jester OUT!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hospitals Suck

Jester says hey! Coming to you live today from St. John's Hospital where my baby girl has been since early Friday morning. She has negative gram stain (nasty strain) of pneumonia. Scarred lungs are much more susceptible to pneumonia than non scarred lungs are. This strain was likely caused by bath water or the like. We just thank God above that she is the Healed of the Lord and by the stripes of Jesus, she is healed!

We have been very blessed with a good staff during our hospital stay...for the most part. Kahri had to threaten an RT in the middle of the night, but other than that we are in good shape.

Kahri brought Emily up to see Kaedy Bug last night. Kaedra was SSSOOOO happy to see her sister. She smiled and smiled and smiled! They played, colored, etc for about an hour before Kaedra got tired out. I brought her back up this morning when I came in to relieve Kahri. They had a blast again this morning.

I really really really don't like hospitals, but then again...who does right? I thought I had it bad when I had to spend about 3 weeks in the hospital back in 2002. Kaedra has me beat and then some. She spent her first 10 months hospitalized. If you are not familiar with her story, email me and I will link you up to it. It is an AMAZING story.

I will try to keep the blog updated while we are in the hospital. Please keep Kaedra in your prayers and agree with us that we will be able to get her out of here as quickly as possible.

Jester OUT!!!