Hello one and all for the latest installment of the now not so Daily Take that Doesn't Suck. Let me just get a couple of things off my chest. To the lady that hit, scratched, and scraped my car today in the parking lot then just drove off...we are praying that you will do the right thing and call me tomorrow apologizing and giving me your insurance information. God always works and he is always on time and I am faithful to him. But just in case the lady that was driving decides not to listen to God, maybe she will be convinced to do the right thing when the Tulsa Police Department pay her a visit, hopefully tomorrow. This is the second time in the last 7 years that my car has been hit at work. I won't boar you with the details but an Isuzu Trooper (unoccupied with the parking brake not set and not in gear) rolled all the way across the parking lot at the 15th and Lewis Walgreens smashing into my Honda. It did almost $3000 in damage. I am sure this one will be close to that as well.
Enough of that noise. So, you gotta wonder how happy the people of New York are these days...not that I could imagine them being very happy to begin with for oh so many reasons. You got Elliot Spitzer paying for it. Just a side note, dude is not a pretty man. He looks like a scrawnier, jewish version of Carl Childers from Slingblade..."I got no reason to kill nobody, uhm hummm oye vay." I guess dude felt like he had to pay for it, but even as ugly as he is, I think he got ripped off a little bit. I mean come on...$4300, that's a starter car here in Oklahoma. There are 'necks out here that bought their first Firebird (probably a 1983-1986) for that money or less. You know you have a problem and way to much money when you are dropping $4000 plus for some lovin'. Come on dude, apply yourself. You have a pretty attractive wife, although I have no idea what she sees in you. But really, talk to her, romance her, and you will probably be able to have relations with her. And you won't be dropping thousands of dollars in the process. Just my opinion...come on Carl, give it a shot, you have nothing more to lose.
Just when you thought that was over, the new Gov admits his marital indiscretions while the seats were still warm from his swearing in ceremony. I mean, call me crazy but maybe you could have admitted this before you took the office. I am not sure if I hold this dude any less accountable than Spitzer. He didn't pay for it (that we are aware of) but he cheated on his wife several times with several different women. Dudes wife is very attractive and again, all he had to do was apply himself. Dude is blind, so maybe he has no idea how good he had it at home. How hard is it to find a stinkin politician that is not a freak in the sack???
So this week, Barack gave his "let me distance myself from my pastor that I have known and trusted for the last twenty years that is now making me look really bad" speech. It was a good speech but he didn't really didn't say much. It was the Washington version of the Wagoner County bait and switch. The speech was talked up and millions awaited it. It was very eloquent but had no substance to it. As Dan Rather said, "in Texas High School football terms, he is all drop back and no pass." I still think he will be our next president, but there may be more skeletons falling out of the closet.
More to come later...Jester out!!!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
And The Winner Is....
Nobody. In the red corner we have Hillary Clinton. By the way, has she dropped the Rodham from her name?? She is a high strung, high temper hippie/femenist reject from the 1960's. (By the way, if you are so flat chested that you don't wear a bra, is it still proper etiquette to burn them? Not sure on that one.) I know looks shouldn't make a difference in presidential politics, but it does. Unfortunately, Senator Clinton is not a very attractive person. Don't get me wrong, she is much better looking than any picture I have seen of her during the 1960's and
1970's...back then, there weren't enough pork chops to put around her neck for the dog to play with her. Today, she just looks like a mean, nasty (think of Ursala from Little Mermaid) old woman. Do something for yourself Hil...have a little work done, maybe have the doctors do their thing so you can actually smile and it not look scripted. Call Joan Rivers, she can recommend a team of docs. Then again, maybe I am way off here. You be the judge.
In the blue corner we have Barack Obama. He will turn 47 this year, putting him the same age as John McCain's youngest great grand child, but that will come later in this rant. Barack is a wonderful speaker. I remember seeing him give the keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention. I told my wife at that moment, "you are looking at a future president." It looks like he will beat the Clinton machine and get the nomination, unless something sinister happens ala Vince Foster. Let's pray that doesn't happen. Don't misunderstand, Barack is a liberal. He doesn't really deny it, but he doesn't embrace it either. Dude has the opportunity to make a true difference in this country and change things. He is not a Washington insider that has been eating out of the "Gubment" trough for the last 40 years like McCain, or for the last almost 30 years like the Clintons. More on Obama below.
On the outside of the steel cage waiting to take on the winner of the Democratic Battle Royal is John McCain. John unfortunately sounds like he swallowed Sylvester the Cat (Looney Tunes) when he talks, and his jowls are so swollen, it looks like he swallowed him as well. McCain seems like he is spending most of his time reminding his base that he is conservative. I have a little advice for you John, if you have to remind yourself and the people around you, that you are not crazy, you might be a little crazy...just ask Britney Spears. So, in your case, replace crazy with conservative and replace Britney Spears with the American people. In retrospect, that is a really terrible analogy, but it's the best I can do on my day off.
I am a Republican, but more than that, I am an American. That being said, McCain ain't my man...he will not get my vote. The US needs someone that we can all rally around and bring this country back to the level that we can be. In my opinion, Clinton and McCain are not those people. I am not sure Obama is that person either. Is he the lesser of the evils? Your thoughts???
I promise the next post will not be all serious and stuff!
Jester Out!!!
1970's...back then, there weren't enough pork chops to put around her neck for the dog to play with her. Today, she just looks like a mean, nasty (think of Ursala from Little Mermaid) old woman. Do something for yourself Hil...have a little work done, maybe have the doctors do their thing so you can actually smile and it not look scripted. Call Joan Rivers, she can recommend a team of docs. Then again, maybe I am way off here. You be the judge.
In the blue corner we have Barack Obama. He will turn 47 this year, putting him the same age as John McCain's youngest great grand child, but that will come later in this rant. Barack is a wonderful speaker. I remember seeing him give the keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention. I told my wife at that moment, "you are looking at a future president." It looks like he will beat the Clinton machine and get the nomination, unless something sinister happens ala Vince Foster. Let's pray that doesn't happen. Don't misunderstand, Barack is a liberal. He doesn't really deny it, but he doesn't embrace it either. Dude has the opportunity to make a true difference in this country and change things. He is not a Washington insider that has been eating out of the "Gubment" trough for the last 40 years like McCain, or for the last almost 30 years like the Clintons. More on Obama below.
On the outside of the steel cage waiting to take on the winner of the Democratic Battle Royal is John McCain. John unfortunately sounds like he swallowed Sylvester the Cat (Looney Tunes) when he talks, and his jowls are so swollen, it looks like he swallowed him as well. McCain seems like he is spending most of his time reminding his base that he is conservative. I have a little advice for you John, if you have to remind yourself and the people around you, that you are not crazy, you might be a little crazy...just ask Britney Spears. So, in your case, replace crazy with conservative and replace Britney Spears with the American people. In retrospect, that is a really terrible analogy, but it's the best I can do on my day off.
I am a Republican, but more than that, I am an American. That being said, McCain ain't my man...he will not get my vote. The US needs someone that we can all rally around and bring this country back to the level that we can be. In my opinion, Clinton and McCain are not those people. I am not sure Obama is that person either. Is he the lesser of the evils? Your thoughts???
I promise the next post will not be all serious and stuff!
Jester Out!!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Sorry Kelly
Not much time to blog this morning. Just a quick apology to all the Kelly Clarkson fans out there. I mistakenly left her off the list of performers that we saw in KC week before last. She had strong vocals, especially for 10:00 in the morning...very impressive.
Again, sorry for leaving you off the list Kelly! Forgive me?
More to come this week.
Jester Out!
Again, sorry for leaving you off the list Kelly! Forgive me?
More to come this week.
Jester Out!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Post KC Pre OKC
Hello again one and all. Have you missed the Jester? I know you have. I have been on the road the last week in Kansas City for Sam's Club Year Begining Meetings. Wow, what a tremendous amount of information packed into a 3 day meeting. I learned a ton about culture. I know you are thinking...culture, what is this that Jester speaks? The 25 years of Sam's Club has produced tons of extremely valuable people and their integrity, personalities, ethics and habits have formed our culture.
Sandwiched between meetings we had some great entertainment. The first day we had Lifehouse (a really surprisingly good band...remember "Hanging By a Moment"), Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds (great vocalist, guitar player, and co-wrote "Change the World" with Clapton). Thursday we had REO Speedwagon. No offense here, but I am just curious which state fair had to do without REO so we could have them. They sounded pretty good, but the lead singer Kevin Cronin did not age gracefully. Dude had some spooky eyebrows going on. They did 4 or 5 songs that were loud enough to easily be heard across into the Kansas side of the city. The last day we had Martina McBride. She is a pretty nice looking lady with a good voice. I wish I knew more of her songs. The only one I was familiar with was "Independance Day".
I will leave Tuesday for Oklahoma City for 3 fun filled days of reviewing managerial evals. That will be a fun filled 3 days I am quite sure. I will get to see my Developmental GM counterpart while there though, so that's good. We actually roomed together in KC. He is a nice guy, shout out to Jeff.
I was checking out what was on InDemand on Cox Digital and came across the bomb. Stevie Ray Vaughn live in Germany from 1984. It is a 73 minute live performance that absolutely rocks. If you are a fan and you have InDemand, you have to check it out.
I will holla post OKC. Jester Out!
Sandwiched between meetings we had some great entertainment. The first day we had Lifehouse (a really surprisingly good band...remember "Hanging By a Moment"), Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds (great vocalist, guitar player, and co-wrote "Change the World" with Clapton). Thursday we had REO Speedwagon. No offense here, but I am just curious which state fair had to do without REO so we could have them. They sounded pretty good, but the lead singer Kevin Cronin did not age gracefully. Dude had some spooky eyebrows going on. They did 4 or 5 songs that were loud enough to easily be heard across into the Kansas side of the city. The last day we had Martina McBride. She is a pretty nice looking lady with a good voice. I wish I knew more of her songs. The only one I was familiar with was "Independance Day".
I will leave Tuesday for Oklahoma City for 3 fun filled days of reviewing managerial evals. That will be a fun filled 3 days I am quite sure. I will get to see my Developmental GM counterpart while there though, so that's good. We actually roomed together in KC. He is a nice guy, shout out to Jeff.
I was checking out what was on InDemand on Cox Digital and came across the bomb. Stevie Ray Vaughn live in Germany from 1984. It is a 73 minute live performance that absolutely rocks. If you are a fan and you have InDemand, you have to check it out.
I will holla post OKC. Jester Out!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Goodbye To Fred
Well, I have to say it wasn't a huge earth shattering surprise to see good old boy Fred Thompson fold up and head back to Tennessee. Fred was my man, but he just didn't campaign at all. His personality seemed to be somewhere between his character "Big John" Commissioner of NASCAR in Days of Thunder and "Rear Admiral Joshua Painter-USS Enterprise" from The Hunt for Red October.
My wife brought up a great point about Fred. She thinks he is above all the Washington antics. I see Fred as a true stand up man that doesn't bend to lobbyists with buckets of cash or to deal cutting, spineless, greasy, worthless, unethical, lying members of congress.
I am so disenchanted with politicians. I don't trust anyone anymore. William J. Jefferson gets caught on camera taking bribes and the feds find $90,000 in his freezer. Am I silly for not keeping my cash in the freezer?? Then you have creepy Larry (let me follow in the footsteps of Mike "I am not gay" Piazza) Craig. We all know the story, so I won't go into graphic details, but we can all agree that the guy is a creep that thinks he is above the law. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is a fourth-term member of the senate. He is the Minority Leader in the 110th Congress and sits on the Senate Appropriations Committee. Senator McConnell’s ethics issues stem from earmarks he has inserted into legislation for clients of his former chief of staff, lobbyist Gordon Hunter Bates, in exchange for campaign contributions as well as the misuse of his nonprofit The McConnell Center for Political Leadership at the University of Louisville. Then we have Rep. David Scott (D-GA). He is a third-term congressman, representing Georgia’s 13th district. Rep. Scott’s ethics issues stem from allegations of tax evasion and misuse of official resources for political campaign activity. In 2003, Rep. Scott and his wife, Ms. Alfredia Scott, began missing federal income tax payments that now total nearly $154,000 and have failed to pay $23,200 in taxes on their Georgia home. In addition, their company Dayn-Mark Advertising, failed to pay over $4,600 in local and state taxes since 1998. At the same time the Scotts were failing to pay their taxes, they increased their stock holdings from $5,000 to about $67,000 and bought a $702,000 rowhouse in Washington D.C. More than 40 tax liens have been placed against Rep. Scott’s home and business. What a bunch of losers.
I don't know who I am going to support at this point. Giuliani is just spooky. Dude has more skeletons in his closet than your crazy uncle that no one talks about. McCain is a patriot that I have the up most respect for militarily, but I don't like his policies. They are both social conservatives in my opinion. Ron Paul is just a complete lunatic, non issue. I like Huckabee, maybe for no other reason that Ric Flair (the Nature Boy...whoooooooo) has endorsed him.
I am not sure it makes a difference who we put up there this year. I really think Obama or Hillary (whichever comes out the least bloody at the end of the primaries) will take it all. If I had to choose today between the two of them, I would have to say Obama. Not that he is any less liberal than Hillary, but that he might actually make some changes in Washington. Is it just wishful thinking?
Jester Out!
My wife brought up a great point about Fred. She thinks he is above all the Washington antics. I see Fred as a true stand up man that doesn't bend to lobbyists with buckets of cash or to deal cutting, spineless, greasy, worthless, unethical, lying members of congress.
I am so disenchanted with politicians. I don't trust anyone anymore. William J. Jefferson gets caught on camera taking bribes and the feds find $90,000 in his freezer. Am I silly for not keeping my cash in the freezer?? Then you have creepy Larry (let me follow in the footsteps of Mike "I am not gay" Piazza) Craig. We all know the story, so I won't go into graphic details, but we can all agree that the guy is a creep that thinks he is above the law. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is a fourth-term member of the senate. He is the Minority Leader in the 110th Congress and sits on the Senate Appropriations Committee. Senator McConnell’s ethics issues stem from earmarks he has inserted into legislation for clients of his former chief of staff, lobbyist Gordon Hunter Bates, in exchange for campaign contributions as well as the misuse of his nonprofit The McConnell Center for Political Leadership at the University of Louisville. Then we have Rep. David Scott (D-GA). He is a third-term congressman, representing Georgia’s 13th district. Rep. Scott’s ethics issues stem from allegations of tax evasion and misuse of official resources for political campaign activity. In 2003, Rep. Scott and his wife, Ms. Alfredia Scott, began missing federal income tax payments that now total nearly $154,000 and have failed to pay $23,200 in taxes on their Georgia home. In addition, their company Dayn-Mark Advertising, failed to pay over $4,600 in local and state taxes since 1998. At the same time the Scotts were failing to pay their taxes, they increased their stock holdings from $5,000 to about $67,000 and bought a $702,000 rowhouse in Washington D.C. More than 40 tax liens have been placed against Rep. Scott’s home and business. What a bunch of losers.
I don't know who I am going to support at this point. Giuliani is just spooky. Dude has more skeletons in his closet than your crazy uncle that no one talks about. McCain is a patriot that I have the up most respect for militarily, but I don't like his policies. They are both social conservatives in my opinion. Ron Paul is just a complete lunatic, non issue. I like Huckabee, maybe for no other reason that Ric Flair (the Nature Boy...whoooooooo) has endorsed him.
I am not sure it makes a difference who we put up there this year. I really think Obama or Hillary (whichever comes out the least bloody at the end of the primaries) will take it all. If I had to choose today between the two of them, I would have to say Obama. Not that he is any less liberal than Hillary, but that he might actually make some changes in Washington. Is it just wishful thinking?
Jester Out!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Back in Black
I know it has been forever since I blogged last, let me quickly explain. First of all the holidays kicked my bottom. I worked lots of hours, lots of days, and had not enough time with my family. Holidays ended, then Kaedra comes down with pnemonia, and is hospitalized. Then, I try to blog and my blog is flagged for being spam...yes, SPAM.
Now that it has been unlocked, I can blog.
More to come,
Jester OUT
Now that it has been unlocked, I can blog.
More to come,
Jester OUT
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Good Luck...
Okay, I know I promised you political commentary and pop culture peppered with my bitter witty sarcasm, but I have to share what happened last night. My lovely wife and I went out to eat before tackling some last minute Christmas shopping. We had only been seated at Johnny Carinos for a few moments, when Kahri said of this woman a few tables away, "that girl is looking at me." I looked up from the menu to find she was looking in both our direction. It was odd, she looked familiar. But, most that know me know that I have a bit of a mental haze from about 15-30 years old.
It was becoming almost uneasy glancing up and seeing this woman watch us. Then she mouths the word "hi" at us. At this point, I jokingly say to Kahri that she is making a pass at one or both of us. As this mysterious woman gets up to leave, she walks over to our table, puts her hand on Kahri's shoulder and tells her "good luck with that" referring to me as she rolled her eyes.
At very few points in my life have I been speechless, however this was one of them. The synapses in my brain were firing a thousand comebacks per second, but my mouth could not make the words. All I could do was laugh. My darling wife took it, as I would expect her to, very well. She knows that I have been very happily and faithfully married to her for almost 9 years now.
So, Brandi (we know this because the person you were dining with yelled your name across the restaurant to let you know you had the car keys)if I or one of my old com padres wronged you in some way please first accept my apology, then secondly my invitation to get over it. We tend to walk much straighter and upright when we are not carrying an offense around with us, especially one from possibly 10+ years ago.
Well, hopefully you have mistaken me for someone else, but either way that caused a good laugh. On the upswing, we almost completed all of our shopping. Only one more small outing to have it 100% complete.
From the small world in which we live,
Jester Out!!!
It was becoming almost uneasy glancing up and seeing this woman watch us. Then she mouths the word "hi" at us. At this point, I jokingly say to Kahri that she is making a pass at one or both of us. As this mysterious woman gets up to leave, she walks over to our table, puts her hand on Kahri's shoulder and tells her "good luck with that" referring to me as she rolled her eyes.
At very few points in my life have I been speechless, however this was one of them. The synapses in my brain were firing a thousand comebacks per second, but my mouth could not make the words. All I could do was laugh. My darling wife took it, as I would expect her to, very well. She knows that I have been very happily and faithfully married to her for almost 9 years now.
So, Brandi (we know this because the person you were dining with yelled your name across the restaurant to let you know you had the car keys)if I or one of my old com padres wronged you in some way please first accept my apology, then secondly my invitation to get over it. We tend to walk much straighter and upright when we are not carrying an offense around with us, especially one from possibly 10+ years ago.
Well, hopefully you have mistaken me for someone else, but either way that caused a good laugh. On the upswing, we almost completed all of our shopping. Only one more small outing to have it 100% complete.
From the small world in which we live,
Jester Out!!!
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